Thursday, June 23, 2005

Early and Often

It’s not too early to start thinking about, and handicapping, the 2008 presidential campaign. Here is an early OTP look at some of the rumored candidates. I will start with Republicans.

The Shrub: The dumshit didn’t really win the 2000 election, so he could make a case that the constitutional term limit for president does not apply to him.

Sen. John McCain (Arizona): Every Democrat’s favorite Republican. I have to admit that he’s a favorite of mine as well, even though I probably disagree with him on a lot of issues. He is someone who hasn’t allowed ideology and empty rhetoric interfere with his intellect (like me). The same could be said for …

Sen. Chuck Hagel (Nebraska): Stop the presses boys and girls, this is a Republican that DC-Giant actually could vote for, depending on the Democratic nominee. You should read this guy’s bio, he’s pretty fucking cool and brilliant. I’m sure he looks at his Senate Republican colleagues once-in-a-while, and thinks, “What a bunch of morons.” Unfortunately, he’s not Nazi enough to survive the dumbshit wacko Republican primary voters.

Sen. George Allen (Virginia): Makes the Shrub look like a god damn Mensa-member.

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (Tennessee): Perhaps one of the biggest Senate disappointments in history. He was a brilliant heart surgeon who had the potential of being a McCain or Hagel, but he got so punch-drunk in love with running for president that he allowed his brilliance to dissipate. Lost what little respect I had left for him when he attempted to make a diagnosis on Terry Schiavo by video tape, then claimed that he really wasn’t trying to do that. So, not only did he lose his brain, he lost his spine too.

Gov. George Pataki (New York): Sorry, George, when people think about a Republican for New York, they always long for …

Rudy Giuliani: Tough on crime and liberal on social issues – what’s not to like about that? He too wouldn’t survive the Nazi Republican primary voters.

Soon, I will examine the Democratic field. Because Democrats are unorganized, it might take me some time.


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