O Holy Kung Pao Chicken

Sometimes you just feel so beholden to tradition, that it just feels weird to stray from it. Turkey for Thanksgiving and ham for Christmas, that’s the way it always was at my house growing up, so that’s the way I thought it always would be.

I also never considered venturing out on Christmas day an option. I thought all families were under house arrest until the following day, except for kids who wanted to play with outside toys. My rude awakening came one Christmas when I wanted to go see a new Superman movie at the theaters. No one is going to be there and I should get in no problem, I thought. The line snaked around for a couple blocks, so no Christmas movie for me that day.

I blindly bought a ham before Christmas this year thinking that it would be our dinner for that night (turkey for Thanksgiving, ham for Christmas dammit). But then we thought, Chinese food sounds really good. Mrs. Giant and I did that one year, so it’s not like there wasn’t precedence. So away we went.

“Jewish, heathen, or lazy Christian?” said the host.

How incredibly rude, I thought. It turns out she just wanted to find out in what section we should be seated in the busy restaurant.

"Do you serve General Tso’s ham?"