Re-Upping with the Catholics
My wife recently experienced a crisis of faith after her parish wouldn’t allow us to name god parents who aren’t Catholic. Some other issues were bothering her prior to this particular event, but this represented the proverbial last straw, so she decided to become a free agent.
Just like any free agent, she was looking for certain things when she visited other religions: a large signing bonus; a limited no-trade clause; luxury box seating for services; a percentage of the Sunday collection plate; a luxury hotel suite on the road; and a daily meal stipend.
The Methodists made a very strong offer, but my wife ultimately decided to re-sign with the Catholics after talking with the pastor at her church, who suggested we take advantage of some loopholes.
Today (Ash Wednesday) will be her first game since re-signing. If she had thought about it, she would have waited until after lent to re-sign, so that she wouldn't have to sacrifice anything. However, no one likes drawn-out contract negotiations.
Too bad we aren’t the Kennedy’s, otherwise we could have just donated a shit-load of money and solved the problem that way. Us philistines require a little more creativity.
Just like any free agent, she was looking for certain things when she visited other religions: a large signing bonus; a limited no-trade clause; luxury box seating for services; a percentage of the Sunday collection plate; a luxury hotel suite on the road; and a daily meal stipend.
The Methodists made a very strong offer, but my wife ultimately decided to re-sign with the Catholics after talking with the pastor at her church, who suggested we take advantage of some loopholes.
Today (Ash Wednesday) will be her first game since re-signing. If she had thought about it, she would have waited until after lent to re-sign, so that she wouldn't have to sacrifice anything. However, no one likes drawn-out contract negotiations.
Too bad we aren’t the Kennedy’s, otherwise we could have just donated a shit-load of money and solved the problem that way. Us philistines require a little more creativity.
posted by DC-Giant at 11:50 AM
2 Comments:
Excellent rant! I want a religion that offers a percentage of the Sunday collection plate.
It's tough to do the Catholic thing of having godparents and then not use Catholics for the job. I'm always having a crisis of faith... Catholics are rigid in their doctrine.
Who are the godparents for your cute one?
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