Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Red, It's the New Black

The new Secretary of Homeland Security is considering changing, or eliminating, the color-coded terror alert system. Some have complained that it’s too vague.

Former Secretary Tom Ridge quipped, “It could be colors, it could be numbers, it could be animals. I don't care what you use to designate the trigger. But it's what kind of information do you share when you raise the threat level that I think is more important to the public. ...They want more information.”

I think they need to incorporate every day colloquial phrases into the terror alert system, so everyone would understand the true threat level. Here are some suggestions:

-- Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (Low)
-- Wonder What That’s About? (Guarded)
-- Somebody Should Look Into That (Elevated)
-- What the Fuck?! (High)
-- Holy Shit! (Severe)
-- Here are your copies, President bin Laden (We’re fucked)

Dammit, I thought I activated the grenade.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two days back from your hedonism week, and you already have time to write 2 blog postings? I wanna be you....either that, or I fear for the relevance of your so called "job". The one that does not involve self absorbtion and navel gazing delivered through an increasingly strident left wing point of view.

1:52 PM  

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