What Are You Going To Do About It, Dough Boy?
Over the weekend, a University of Oklahoma student with emotional difficulties committed suicide near the football stadium using an explosive attached to his body. A University of Oklahoma student with emotional difficulties – isn’t that redundant? They live in Oklahoma fer crissakes. How could you not have emotional difficulties?
In other news, Wal-Mart is considering buying struggling clothier Tommy Hilfiger in an attempt to upgrade its image and draw in a more upscale clientele. A top-ranking Wal-Mart official said that studies by the retailer showed, “Our shoppers don’t make shit. We need customers with more straight cash, homey if we want to remain viable”
Speaking of Wal-Mart, Garth Brooks announced in August that he signed a multi-year, exclusive pact with Wal-Mart making the retailer and its Sam's Clubs and walmart.com outlets the only places where his music will be sold. After two months under the deal, his sales figures remain unchanged.
In other news, Wal-Mart is considering buying struggling clothier Tommy Hilfiger in an attempt to upgrade its image and draw in a more upscale clientele. A top-ranking Wal-Mart official said that studies by the retailer showed, “Our shoppers don’t make shit. We need customers with more straight cash, homey if we want to remain viable”
Speaking of Wal-Mart, Garth Brooks announced in August that he signed a multi-year, exclusive pact with Wal-Mart making the retailer and its Sam's Clubs and walmart.com outlets the only places where his music will be sold. After two months under the deal, his sales figures remain unchanged.
posted by DC-Giant at 1:44 PM
1 Comments:
I have noticed some disturbing trends reappearing on this blog since the mysterious spike in quality back in early September. First of all, the header for the blog no longer reads "I'm as full of shit as anyone". Does this mean that the author no longer thinks he is full of shit? I prefer to come to the conclusion that he is considerably more full of shit than the average, thus necessitating a change in by-lines. Now if only I could find a way to get my daily fiber intake from consuming this blog, I would concur with the fact that it is a "quality post since 1898"? Huh?
I am also disturbed by what I percieve as a growing elitist slant to this blog - weekly slanders against Southern states, Wal-Mart shoppers, redneck pro athletes - it really is getting out of hand. All I can say to this is that I was always taught that the true mark of an enlightened intellect is when there is no longer a need to denegrate another person or group in order to justify one's own place in the great scheme of things. In fact, I would argue that your Wal-Mart shopping, Garth Brooks buying, self-detonating Sooner suicide bombers have fewer negative things to say about liberal-leaning, smug, overinformed beltway insider lawyer lobbyist types than the other way around. If only because they are too busy surviving to spend any considerable effort worrying about your sorry ass.
Now go get a job. Why not try the midnight stockboy shift at your local Wal-Mart? Or if that is too pedestrian for you, try Target. They have a nice soap section for you to wash out your filthy mouth.
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