Friday, January 21, 2005

That's Hedley!

The Shrub had his coronation yesterday and pledged to spread freedom and end tyranny in the world. Road-side bombs for everyone!

As a first step, he resigned in order to free oppressed citizens in his own country.

The festivities were delayed slightly when Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist, who administered the oath-of-office, was forced to recite it word-for-word instead of by passage in order to match the Shrub’s lack of attention span, and brains. I think the Shrub even said ‘your name’ when it got to that part.

Shrub faced a potentially embarrassing situation when, instead of giving the ‘hook-em-Horns’ salute when the University of Texas marching band passed by the parade stand, he gave the ‘Legacy-admission-Ivy-League-thumb-your-nose-at-the-poor’ gesture. Fortunately, Karl Rove was able to pull the right strings in time to prevent further catastrophe.

You know, I probably shouldn’t write such polarizing material. One day, my readership is going to skyrocket to 5 people and I should prepare to sell out and be more conciliatory

The fact is, I have a deep, deep, dark secret – A long time ago, I used to be a Republican. I didn’t have the most stable of childhoods (I know, who does?), and so I bought into the style and the imagery of the ‘Morning in America’ crap that was thrust upon us by the Reagan Administration.

However, as I became more edumucated, I began to scratch the surface a bit and realized what a fraud it all was; I didn’t know Mike Deaver was feeding Reagan all his lines, just as Rove feeds the Shrub.

How was I to know that, instead of a farcical character, William J. LePetomane would turn out to be a precursor of things to come, two times over?

1 Comments:

Blogger Couch said...

i dont think ive found a good side yet... though i have a tendency towards democrats...

3:37 AM  

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