It’s too bad that viruses came along before cars because they took up a lot of the good names. Otherwise, we could be driving a Subaru Influenza today. Perhaps the Chevy Ebola. The Ford Hanta could have been the Central American version of the Focus.
You might recall that I was scoping out potential mid-life crisis cars. I wanted to avoid looking like a complete schmo by getting a chick car, or something that would make people laugh at me, like a red Corvette. I think I’ve decided on one – a white Volkswagen Cabriolet.
Here is a joke that was e-mailed to me recently.
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant who obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golf pro is.
" Top of the mornin to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those", asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on God's earth are dey for." inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything"